Tears in despair


Delicately she moved her fair fingers on his much loved pair of jeans, unable to control her tears, she slowly walked towards the glass window of the silence filled attic. Nostalogic about her joyfilled life, she opened her recently wed album.
Clogged before her moist eyes were the reminisces of his presence in the room, his warm breath behind her ears, manly yet carrassing arms around her waist.... she did recall those joyous moments with him, as that was all she had about him. Bundles of thousand secrete desires, pent up cravings vent up uncontrollably like a furious volcano as she tried to re-create the air which she thought she would remain forever.
That was the dusk, trees slant in syncronisation to the cool zephyr that blew through her silky hairs, sun was bidding his routine adieu as she usually waited under the big peepal tree when his shadow crept stealthily behind her to grasp her tender waist. And he lifted her in the air to express his joy over his selection to the 'Indian Army' which was his only passion after her. Jubiliant over his success she kissed him over his forehead. Though she went speechless immediately, he could understand her taunted emotions and fears. Grasping her arms tightly, he looked into her emotionally perplexed eyes from where tears rolled over her cheeks. Knowing the reason, he slowly held her hand in his and assured her his lifetime and their togetherness.
It was an year that she gradually passed in those words, a few letters and assurances.
Finally the day, she least desired and prayed that it never come, came making her worst fears true, his assurances false thus bringing her world to an end.
She lied there mentally paralysed over the bed. Tears slid down on the letters blurring the letters on them when she heard the mortuary siron gonging at her doorstep. How much she wished that the earth would swallow her right there, the wind would carry her infinitely far or she could push herself into a bottomless well. A heavy iron-like gulp thudded into her heart, head as heavy as a mudbag, she could hardly move her limbs, believe me she never wanted to get up. She din't want to see his charming face frozen to stone, grasping arms lifeless, the legs those carried her through grass rested now no less like a log, those capturing eyes now completelyand constantly closed. Time did'nt give her much, till she could realise the assuring, consoling person now lay mortal. Surrending to the mordant reality she laid her head now beaming her lover's image, his sharp smile, capturing eyes, embracing strong chest , greedy about the beam she forwarded her fragile hands towards him and closed her eyes and she never opened them again.

The old beggar woman


Lifeless sat she on the busy road at dusk with her head dropped over onto her feeble knees, rugged piece of cloth hardly covered her, swollen nerves on her hands could say her age was more than 70years, tears rolled from her barely open eyes, untidy knotted hairs clutched to thorns that lay there, was she mumbling something that was as meek as her. The street was as busy as a hive. Rich money mongers were gushing with their high profile wallets into their 4wheelers. Working class men making their way through the stampede back home. Children rushing back home with their iron-like loaded backspacks....
So sat she there unnoticed by million such eyes. Minutes passed to hours, idle stayed she surrendering herself to life, society, nature., Suddenly a gush, soon after which droplets sprayed themself on the pityless land. Still sat she idle, hardly feeling the cold drops on her numb feet. Thunder shuddered onto the empty streets felling trees like matchsticks. Violent wind blew the window glasses out of their pane. Soon the busy streets became as empty as a haunted desert. The violent breeze blew through the broken grills of the old builing pushing her on the wet path. Afew seconds of count the ruthless rain stopped gradually bringing back the street's callous glory. The wind had blewn the piece of gunny, her only will, exposing the wet currencies that lay scattered like a loyal dog next to her. Greedy eyes pounced onto it as if those were the last notes in the world. Lifeless now she lay there with all the world's attention over her. Her eyes stuck constantly to her eyelids , she surrendered so to the end.

The day never ended



Bright, Sunny and a casual mid-day February was it. A day i can't forget for sure. Yes it was the day that taught me more and loose even more. Whatever the day, its nevertheless unworthy to pen.
Woke up in gloom with the thought of the monotonous routine day ahead lingering in my lazy mind. If not for the day it was i would've rather slept for more and things would'nt have gone bizzare like that. Dragging was the day till the bell rang at 12:20 pm which reminded me again of the Khadhi exhibhition put up in Mekri. Khadhi exhibhition is one such that is arranged by the government to encourage the country's cotton industries. Clothes, accessories, interiors, chappals to medicines and pickles almost everything is found here. Month of January reminds most patriots about the Martyr's day but residents of Malleshwarm especially if they are street-smart girls like me there's only one thing we think of and its the exhibhition. Somehow as fate would have it, the exhibhition was put up in Mekri which otherwise would have been in Malleshwaram 18th cross ground.This time it was that i'd to exchange the oversized kurti for a smaller size. Obviously i din't want to go into the big den alone.
It was 1:00pm when i left college with my friends Shar, siri and my former-friend ****** lols.....(now on referred as Ms.Boasty alias Ms.B coz it was all that she was whiz at).
Surprisingly got into a KSRTC bus, (stop there, whats surprising abt dat?) it came within a few minutes to that haunted bustand. On the way back i mentioned my idea to Ms.B of going to the exhibhition to exchange the piece. And, there were we by 2:05 approx. Polled Rs.10 each to begin into the crappiest series. Once after entering the tented den, i brisked towards stall 310 where the kengeri gramadyog had displayed many embroidried kurtis, tops, shirts, skirts and so on... I was here i had to reach. All through my way from entrance to 310 i'd to pacify Ms.B to walk like a pirate horse with eyes closed coz its heights of annoyance going shopping with her and thats because of her habit of visiting each and every relevant and irrelevant stalls. She wants clothes, gold, earrings, bangles, pots , all ok, but would you believe it was even carpet, shawls, jute, bedsheet stalls. Scanning each and every form in her vicinity did she delay our way out to last stall at 2:45. Perhaps i got somewhat the kinda piece i wanted..
It was almost when we'd reached the end, did my cell start vibrating, the call wa to Ms.B from 1 of her old friend. Yes Ms.B though boasts about everything she din't carry a cell for which reasons were more than a hundred. It was 2minutes after that call, my call started vibrating again. And yet again, it was not my call but hers from her boyfriend. A kind of annoyed i just quoted "My cell is used by you more than me". She fastened her steps towards the food spot talking. Both thirsty and tired we opted to visit the north karnataka food stall. Ordered 2 'jolla rotis'( made of corn). I took the plate with my other hand holding the cover containing the cloth. Ms.B made her steps towards me and went in gad for a nice clean chair which is very rare to find in such government organised exhibis'. By now we got busy hogging. In no time the roti was over with the brinjal gravy same like how it was when it was served. No place to wash hands and all the tissue in my bag( yes i carry) over, i held my hand down loose and walked without toching anything, neither my bag nor the cover that i was holding.Now out of the exibhi, we were in search of an auto. After much an argument for justice one of the autowallas agreed for meter. And thus we reached chungs dog-tired. I was browsing through the menu card when Ms.B asked for my phone to message her guy. After a long dig into my multicolor designerbag i realised i din't have my cell. Anxious i arose from the seat to the counter to call bac to my number. After 3 long rings the phone went switched off . This was when i realised i lost my cell. What on earth? What would i say at home? By now even Ms.B had become numb so as to thinking if the case was against her as it was she who used my cell before it was lost....
No time to think we had to act fast before the culprit made use of mine/mostly her irresponsibility. We immediately caught an auto and ran back to khadhi. I rarely have good habits but 1 among that was noting the license board inside the auto. This time i'd done the same. Now i started enquiring the autowallas there for their collegue named Ganesh(which i'd seen on the liscence). Nobody knew him. Many of them asked if i noted down his number( i would have but if i knew i would loose my cell there). Now i stood there helpless thinking of the day and the reason i'd got my obssessed 6300( mp3, 1gb card, 2mp). That was a gift presented by my mom for aquiring first class and clearing 2backs in 1 shot and for completing my 20yrs of age just a month ago. And so it had a sentimental value. Back to the foodspot i started recalling. Ms.B joined me and gave looks as though she was seriously interospecting. She urged that she gave the phone back to me. I asked her if how i could've taken the handset when my hand was what it was. She din't reply and partially accepted her intensity of share(though full share)she silently mumbled she'd buy it back to me. Now that was a fair deal, tears did not roll down which otherwise would have. But still i knew the new cell can never replace my much loved cell. Now we'd to go back home as i had to go to my CAT classes. On the way back we went to her guy's office where she narrated the story. Though they din't discuss anything in front of me, all i was conveyed was we had to go to National market near majestic as dat guy knew some guys there who'd get it for cheap. Back home my chappli gave hand. Once we reached, she started making calls in an attempt to sell her ipod gifted to her (which today i know was a melodrama). I decided not to go to classes but instead roam with her. Now i'd to take out the documents of my lost phone. It was on the attic. Lazy to pull a chair i tried to climb on the wadrobe shelf to reach it. Meanwhile id searched my suitcase( contains all g-cards, id-cards, slam book and O'henry collection) but the search was vain. The suitcase lay carelessly on the floor. Ms.B being podgy than me offered to attempt. She almost reached there....... thud,thud,thud she fell on the black small suitcase, now the suitcase was completely smashed like a cycle under a lorry. Even her toe's thumb nail was broken from the skin and now bleeding. Brought a roll of cotton and applied some cream. Both left home to a medicine shop where i bought bandages and carefully pressed it on her toes. As it was already 6:00pm left in an auto to the market which was my 1st visit to that crappiest place in Bangalore.
Fully lit, crowded, selling bags, nighties, watches and everywhere surrounded by the dusk drunkurds we made our way through to some complex where we stood waiting for her guy. After a half an hour her guy turned up with his friend. Meanwhile i and she had invaded the complex bargaining and enquiring for a 2nd hand. According to me this was not justified. What the hell for should i buy a 2nd hand for no fault of mine.... morover my cell was just a 8-9 months. Now her guy instructed her to home with me so that i'd feel secure at that time of the evening(7:30). Back we placed our ass in the auto and headed back to malleshwaram. The hardest part was this..... it was very difficult for her to shut her mouth that she started talking crap to auto-fellow. He took her behavior for granted for uneccessary and imaginay feelings. And you can guess.... yes, he started pestering for her number. But still madam would'nt stop, went on and on....... asking his name and what not, till we reached 2-3 blocks away from my house when i stopped the auto there which or else would've led to undesirable consequences. We'd to pay above meter though it was not 9 yet. That dog had its day with a few extra bugs. Somehow my intuition pinged me not to go towards home. Hence i started walking in the opposite direction as that of the auto and my house. I noticed a small road with no street lights and very isolated but only 1 CD shop barely crowded by loafers at the end of the lane. That was the only cut in vicinity which otherwise was a straight road from dhobhi ghat(washerman's colony). Towards the left was an old building which had no traces of humans. I pushed her and so myself into its walls thinking we could leave once we hear the auto leave. Complete silence...... for the other 15-20 seconds which seemed like an hour. All i could hear was my heart pound. I just looked back and got scared seeing my own shadow. I asked her not to move so that anybody walking down would'nt get a hint of 2 helpless young girls. Slowly i moved towards the balcony-like sill and peeped down towards the road. GOSH!!! The bhastard had'nt left. His eyes were gaping at the lane. A new eccentric thought occured what if some guys come from upstairs? This time Ms.B took my hand and asked to walk out and so we did knowing that it was far better to be on the road than a haunted building
in an isolated lane. Back on track, stupid's brain went switched off or something she started greeting the womanizer sarcastically " why u still here?" What the fu** was her problem in it? I immediately asked her to take a coin and pretend talking to someone, looking at his number plate (near the CD shop). Heaven's sake for the 1st time she did as i told her. Coward drove away. Panting-puffing still scared of anyone following us we reached my house. We dispersed once her guy came.
It was 10'o clock when i finished my dinner and lied on my bed and was fast-asleep to see reminses of my much-beloved 6300.